So I met Steve Jobs once at Whole Foods. I was like "Hey, are you Steve Jobs? Would you sign my iPod?" and he got really pissed off and exploded it with his mind. True story.

Steve Jobs and the Buddha were walking on a road through the mountains. Steve Jobs wasn't there, though, he was in Cupertino.

Steve Jobs is the Steve Austin of being Steve Jobs -- but the Steve Ballmer of being Steve Ballmer.

Steve jobs put the i in "team."

Steve jobs his own private iLand.

Steve jobs never has to take an iTest at the DMV.